Wednesday 28 August 2013

MOURNING



Quran chapter 5 verse 32, the death of one equals the death of humanity.

She tore up under the blanket of warmth that the hairdryer provided. Nadia could see from all the way. She raised her well manicured index finger and Nadia almost seethed at her own stupidity. She rummaged her handbag and handed over the hanky. There they were, came out like a river and she let it. Nadia was in awe. How would a girl still look so beautiful even after hour of draining all bodily fluid crying their eyes out?  Even in sadness, this girl had this glow to her. 

There she was again, drifting, being stupid- typical Nadia. Grief did that to her. Saw a friend tear up after a loved one’s demise and suddenly she was an effing eejit. Dum dum.  Break ups, chipped nails, bad hair days- those she could handle but this, this was death. She and death.....
“He is not gone you so i know,”

“What?” Ephy broke Nadia out of her reverie.

“He is going to recover and come back. Things will get back to normal. Won’t they? Tell me they will!” 

Nadia had no decent way to tell Ephy that he was really gone.

 Silence this time, Ephy knew did not mean consent.

TODAY I ASKED GOD



Today I asked God for unconditional love
And it seemed scaringly entitled to ask for something that I in abundance have
And my knees hit the dusty ground
As my hot tears smoked up its loose soil
Like raindrops
Only drying up so fast
Like a Kenyan summer
And my rusty whispers which like rocks that were from the slingshot that is my heart
Hit God’s ears
And I asked God to love and be loved
Today I asked the maker for unconditional love to cure my lonely soul
You see
I have been running
So fast yet on the same perimeter
Going round and round and round on the same square meter
Going back to the point where I begun
And today I learnt it is useless to run
So i asked the almighty for a son so I rest from the exhaustion caused by my flight from loneliness
I ASKED THE ALMIGHTY FOR A SON
To give life
To give my heart
For something worth dying for
As the holy word speaks of Solomon
The story of two mothers and a fallen child
An allegation of death and ownership so wild
Yet the mother
The joy of motherhood willing to forego
Just so the child, though in the arms of another would grow
I asked God for a son
So I too would feel the intensity that is sacrifice

And I analogized to the pain of David
Hoe he asked for pain, stark raving hurt instead of his son’s
His flesh and blood’s pain was his own
Cut him deeper than the sharpest sword
And I asked God for a son
So i feel another’s pain
To bring life to my existence
For fortnights I have wandered
Like a rudderless boat at sea drifting aimlessly to my inevitable demise
I sit and wonder
To whom will I be termed as dearly missed?
I asked God for a son
For I looked at everything under the sun
And found my worth would be found in a son.