My Immortal

There are days when I think of you
and the deceit and shameful defeat
that my heart succumbed to
I cannot stand
thus i am filled with such rage
like an airhead graduate on minimum wage
I whine
but there are days when i think of you
and all i want to is to feel you
right beside me
then i am beside
myself with rage
how can i still feel you
how can i still feel for you
how can i shed a tear
for what i felt for over a year
past
dead and gone yet
immortal in my heart
though it was hurt
for you it still yearns
though my skin thickened
from the lessons learnt
about your love and its non-existence
like aliens on earth
for your touch
your caress it still yearns
why cannot we love
why could we not have love
and the wise ones talk of the broken road
leading us to such happy ever after aboard
yet that light at the end of that underground road
i am blind to
or is it a blind fold
but i beg not to blame you
yet i do
why would you touch me?
why would i let you?
why would you love me so good?
and how would i say no without sounding so rude?
but i wouldn't
i couldn't because i thought it a reciprocation
of my deep affection
I thought it a paradise and those wise men
not so wise
actually felt it a paradise
but then i know now
i was not as wise
i was stupid
pranked by cupid
so these days i think of you
and i know my feelings were true
then i think of them untrue
and i wish i could see you
maybe my heart could whisper
and help me through this unending dilemma
because i said i loved you
not like i do
for rockbands and shoes
but this was new
but i wouldn't know
i'm a mere mortal
and i will never know
because you refuse
you refuse to comply
and i wouldn't understand why
i too do not know
i do not know
how to complete this letter