Before dusk turns to dawn...

What is the opposite of being paranoid?
At the other end of this pathological extreme lies having the vilest and most inhuman plan drawn up against you yet not have a clue.

What is the antonym for joy?
At the other end of this emotion lies the feeling when you watch your world crumble, when everything you hold dear before your eyes crumbles and you can't so much as tremble as you are numbed, numbed by the fear that it could be worse. Watching frantic effort go to waste, watching an empire you built with such struggle in ashes, watching your loved ones waste away with incurables, watching your self turn into a zombie, watching all go yet you can't cry because they will start to pry and it takes all of you to try, try and laugh because they say your time it adds away.

You want more time, more time in a world that's given you nothing worth a dime, yet you still hope that there will be better days and how so if not with more time? Because you heard of Mandela, once ruler of the land of diamond and gold, imprisoned for being so bold, spent years in the cold yet he saw good. You have heard of Mr. King who only saw hatred, disparity yet preached love, equality. You have heard of Job, once such a nob, everything he owned robbed yet he endured amidst the bitter and the sob. They preached about the son of God. The Roman's road say it has been done that all you have to do is believe and Grace you shall receive, so you shun all thoughts of taking refuge in brown bottles or tots, in witchcraft or sorcerer's pots that it will be well and you can tell that it will take a while and you say to your self "death is no merciful release from this pain" As these great stories say, endurance is not in vain thus with the pouring rain in the scorching sun I will wait. Joy will find me not with my heart slain!