This battle I fear...

He asked how i was doing,
I said fine.
I said life was beginning to seem like wine.
- Better by the day
I said all is in line,
and fate seemed not my fortune - wish decline.
I said i was fabulous,
of life's bringing omnious.
I said i was gracious,
- graciously dealing with all in my way.
But i lied;
I wanted to say i was terrified,
that maybe i wasn't as good as i always thought i was.
That i felt as though my brain and heart were in constant battle,
the brain said that its a dead end ,
but my head differed vehemently,
with so much vigour and passion that i considered a calmer they call liquor,
the heart insisted that i keep dreaming,
but the brain breaks my heart,
brain keeps mirroring the reflection on the mirror
- that a person that  mirrored in that manner couldn't possibly be as great,
and my heart broke because even if heart dreams,
heart rarely wins,
not when brain speaks such human truth.
and the heart keeps breaking,
that is why i am terrified because i feel its pieces
- they keep disintegrating i fear i will lose heart;
I fear the dreamy side will hurt;
so much that it will see no light at the end of that tunnel;
so much that even when that chubby lady belts out that melody,
the heart's ears will be blocked - deaf to the end of turmoil
I fear i will die on the inside and never come back...